Mar 5, 2021
We kick off this week with a
Love Fix question regarding dating in your 40’s as a single parent,
and invite you to open up your world to other single parents! Then,
we welcome Carista Luminare and Lion Goodman to discuss the Four
Attachment Styles in love, how to know which one you are, and why
certain ones always seem to attract their opposite. We also talk
about what really makes a narcissist want to work on their
behavior, how to spot red flags as you are out there on the dating
scene, and how to know when to call it quits.
Carista Luminare, Ph.D., has
more than 40 years experience as a counselor, consultant and
educator to individuals, couples and families. In her counseling
practice, she integrates her lifelong research on early bonding
patterns and how they impact our identity and our adult
relationship dynamics.
Lion Goodman, PCC, is CEO of Luminary Leadership Institute
and creator of the Clear Beliefs
Method. He has 35 years experience as an executive coach,
counselor, and healer. In 1984, he founded The Goodman Group, an executive search and consulting firm which
served more than 250 companies and C-suite executives during its
18-year history.
What You’ll Hear In This Episode:
- Our real and transparent feelings about sharing
our private life online as a therapist and coach.
- A Love Fix question about dating after 40 as a
single parent, and who we really feel you should take a look
at.
- Lion and Carista share their individual and
joint interesting and impressive backgrounds as healers, educators,
coaches and more.
- We discuss what trauma bonds are, why we have
them, and how our attachment style is influenced by the
relationship with our primary caregiver.
- More about the four attachment/love styles:
secure, insecure anxious, insecure avoidant, and insecure
traumatic.
- Why people with insecure attachment styles and
codependency tend to seek out narcissists and
avoidants.
- A free tool to take a quiz on Lion and Carista’s site to
see what attachment style you may be, along with resources
from Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency and gaining
confidence.
- Some red flags to look for when dating, and
what to do at the first sign of them popping up. Also, how to know
when to call it quits and walk away.
- The narcissist and codependent agree on one
thing — who is most important!
- A narcissist can possibly heal if they are
willing to care about the feelings of their partner, own their
emotions, and work to repair the situation.
- Yes, codependent behavior can be self absorbed
as well!
- Is it possible for a partner with secure
attachment and another with insecure attachment to
work?
- Advice for a situation where one partner goes
to therapy and tries to work on things, and the other partner
doesn’t.
Tweetables:
- “Our judgements are just reflections of things
we need to work on.” — Carla
- “The reason narcissists and codependents get
together is they most agree on who is most important!” —
Lion
- “If you want time with your partner, then ask
for it. If you want space from your partner, then ask for it. Just
do it in a loving way.” — Carista
Connect with Us!
Get professional online counseling with BetterHelp by
clicking here.
Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this
episode.
Sherry
Website | Instagram | Facebook |
Love Smacked
| Wake Up Recovery for
Codependents
Carla
Website | Instagram | Facebook |
Contagious Love
| Online Dating Bootcamp
Carista Luminare and Lion Goodman
Website
| Cleaf Beliefs
Find Out More:
Co-Dependents
Anonymous
Al-Anon