The Love Fix: Can Cheaters Really Change with Sara Kuburic

Can Cheaters Really Change with Sara Kuburic

Oct 22, 2021

Sherry kicks off this week explaining her love/hate relationship with acrylic nails, and then she and Carla welcome Sara Kuburic, existential psychotherapist, consultant, writer, and columnist for USA Today. Sara specializes in identity relationships and moral trauma and explains how cheating can affect our identity and self-perception. The group discusses how not to blame the partner that got cheated on, why setting boundaries upfront is crucial, and Sara gives a glimpse into her new book out next fall.

What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

Sherry and Carla discover they have yet another thing in common — a latex allergy!
More about the Love Fix Program, set to launch soon!
From an existential perspective, it’s hard to separate your morality from your identity. So how can cheating affect how an individual sees themselves?
Cheaters often have to reconceptualize who they are as a person and come to terms that they can do something as hurtful to their partner as cheating. The dissonance of who they think they are and their actions can cause trauma.
What do you say to a cheater?
Why Sara, Sherry, and Carla don’t necessarily agree with the notion that people can’t change, and how that can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Interested in connecting with Sara? More info on how to link up with her, along with ways to work with Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency, dating, healing from toxic relationships, and gaining confidence.
Reflection question: should you bring up cheating if it’s only one time?
Cheating is a symptom of something in the relationship as well, but the partner that got cheated on should not blame themselves.
Setting boundaries and discussing what is and is not cheating with your partner is very important.

Tweetables:

“Cheating is a symptom of something in the relationship as well.” - Carla
“It’s really really important to be explicit.” - Sara
“Someone is only going to change if they want to. There’s nothing you can do to make someone else change.” - Carla
“Conflict is never the issue. It’s how we handle the conflict that is the issue.” - Sara
“My whole career is based on the premise that people can change.” - Sara
“Cheating can be about the relationship, but it can also be indicative of the relationship you have with yourself.” - Sara

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